those magical milestones

when i was in kindergarten, my favourite movie was grease. i loved the music and i loved the story, even though i probably didn’t completely understand it.

perhaps because of my childhood of constantly watching the characters in grease i developed an unrealistic idea of how old people actually are. perhaps because olivia newton john was 29 playing an 18 year-old i’m just 11 years off. at least that’s what i’ve been telling myself.

but for every major milestone, i haven’t felt ready. i mean in one sense i feel ready to explore the world beyond what’s expected of my years, but it doesn’t feel natural when i reach certain points: graduating from high school for instance.

for years i see ‘gifts for grads’ on the front table at barnes & noble and it triggers an emotion of intimidation and excitement: some people are going to college, or graduate school – some people will wear that title, some older and magically in-a-different-place people.

as i have at so many other points of my life, i now take a step back and say ‘wait, that’s it?’ it seems so anticlimactic and too easy. i don’t feel like one of those deserving people whom i pictured receiving the gifts for grads. it’s just another day, another event, and its importance isn’t going to change me just by existing.

as i pass more and more of these milestones i’m starting to realize that nothing just happens. no matter how eloquent a speech, melodious a song, awesome a party, it can’t be moving unless you let yourself be moved.

on another note, today i discovered that kerrin – style icon, fashion blogger, and classmate – has the same camera as I have.

i quickly captured this image, but i call it a success when the ‘enhance’ button on iphoto doesn’t change a single setting :)


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